This is Living?
by glasswrks
Summary: Tara does some thinking and has a conversation. Sorry, not much of a summary. Although I mention many characters, only one has direct interaction with Tara.


**Title:** "This is Living?"

 **Author:** glasswrks

 **Copyright date:** 08/25/15 - 08/28/2015

 **Rating:** T

 **Disclaimer:** All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual. I ripped off this disclaimer... but I do want to add: "The Walking Dead," television show is based upon "The Walking Dead" comic books which were/are created by Robert Kirkman, Tony Moore and Charlie Adlard. It was developed for television by Frank Darabont. And is produced in association by: AMC/Circle of Confusion/Valhalla Motion Pictures/Darkwood Productions and AMC Studios.

 **Author's Notes:** This story has nothing to do with any of my other stories, it simply popped into my head so I wrote it down. As I haven't written anything in well over a year, I thought I should put this onto paper and see where it led to. It has not been beta'd. It's set in the fifth season - I don't mention certain characters as they weren't in my minds eye when the story for the most part, wrote itself. Any comments, good, bad, indifferent are welcomed as I'm not sure if I'm going to get hit with any type of inspiration again.

As Tara wearily sat down, groaning inwardly as her muscles protested, she slowly looked around the makeshift campsite they had set-up for the night after walking what felt like days on end, when in reality was only ten hours, give or take, considering the time they spent looking for supplies and somewhere "safe" to rest along the way.

She gazed at the faces of the people who had taken her in on Glen's behalf, something she could never repay.

Rick; the de-facto leader, was talking to Abraham, while Carl and Michonne were keeping an eye on Judith who was playing with a rag doll Carol had made for her to keep Judith entertained.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Rosita finishing up her dinner before joining Sasha on first watch and Eugene was engrossed in the book he found.

As her eyes continued to roam they stopped on Carol who; no surprise to Tara, was seated next to Daryl.

They were speaking quietly to each other.

Tara could see how Carol's body touched his from the leg down. She had noticed in the short time she had seen them together how Carol was one of a handful of people Daryl allowed to get close to him.

She watched as he nodded in agreement.

Tara cocked her head to the side as she continued to watch them.

At first she thought they were a couple; yet after she overheard a conversation between Glen and Maggie discussing how much longer they thought it might be before Carol and Daryl finally acknowledged their feelings for one another, she knew it wasn't true.

To say she was surprised was an understatement of epic proportion considering the way Daryl ran towards Carol when he saw her in the woods once they escaped from Terminus.

Sure, everyone else who had been at the prison waited to have their turn to welcome back someone they obviously missed.

But Daryl, the way he held onto her, how he lifted her up, Tara was sure he was going to twirl her around in absolute joy and kiss her in front of everyone.

When he didn't, Tara was surprised to find she was disappointed in him.

She wouldn't have cared how many people were around her she would have rained kisses, held tight and cried happy tears had someone she cared for came back out of the blue.

Tara shook her head slowly, _'What's up with them?'_ she wondered silently. ' _Why won't they act on their feelings? What's holding them back?'_

Tara sighed wistfully as she turned her attention from them and thought about herself.

She cursed the day she eagerly went to the prison with thoughts of helping the people inside, believing the lies instead of giving them the benefit of the doubt. She knew she had a better head on her shoulders, but she got caught up in the fervor, the absolute righteousness in what she felt.

She couldn't understand why Brian wouldn't listen to what Rick had to say, or the terms Rick had offered, they seemed reasonable but when Brian took the kitana and killed the old man. _'His name was Hershel.'_ She reminded herself. There was nothing she could do to stop the carnage.

So many lives were ruined that day, cut short because of what Brian, or rather _Phillip_ did.

What was left of her family... gone, wiped out in one day.

She could feel the sting of tears in her eyes, it still hurt to think of Lilly, Meghan and Alisha. She was the only one left and although she was with a group of people, she was still alone.

She reached out blindly, picked up a twig and tossed it into the modest campfire they had built. She watched with little satisfaction as it snapped, flaming briefly before being consumed.

She could hear muted voices surrounding her, filling her with a longing so painful - so deep she wondered how long she could survive like this. It was a fluke she had found Alisha, they hadn't been together very long, but Tara held onto it, knowing how precious it was. Little did she know life would show her exactly how fleeting their time together was.

She leaned her head down, resting it on her bent knees and closed her eyes, shutting out everything before her emotions could get the better of her.

"Are you okay?"

Tara looked up quickly as she felt the warmth of a hand on her shoulder she gazed into blue eyes which held both concern and caution.

"I didn't mean to startle you..."

Tara shook her head, "You," she cleared her throat. "You didn't," she replied angry with herself, her voice sounding raw. She watched as Carol's eyebrows rose, she could feel the warmth on her cheeks knowing they were red as she was caught in a lie.

"Really?" Carol had replied, a smirk covering her features.

"Okay, maybe you did," she admitted begrudgingly as she gave into the scrutiny of Carol's gaze. Tara scooted over as Carol sat down next to her without asking, she looked in the direction where she had seen Daryl and Carol speaking earlier and was not surprised to find the spot empty.

"You can't give up you know," Carol said matter of fact.

"What?" Tara replied looking at Carol's profile watching as the flame from the fire played across her features, shadow and light – neither one nor the other dominating, yet each enhancing Carol's face.

"You need to keep fighting, keep living," Carol told her.

Tara scoffed, "You call this," she gestured around the campsite, "Living?"

She watched as Carol looked around and wondered what the other woman was thinking about. She didn't know much about her except Carol had been with the group since Atlanta and Glenn held her in high esteem.

And as far as _she_ was concerned, Carol was a bone fide badass – considering she almost single-handedly brought Terminus down, rescuing them from being killed and their bodies used as food.

Tara had noticed the tension between Carol and Rick, she wasn't sure what the cause was, but it was something palpable... to the point she could feel the unease, regardless of how Rick hugged her in the woods.

"Right now? Yes." Carol replied breaking into Tara's thoughts.

She shook her head. "This is barely surviving," she grumbled.

"That may be true," Carol acknowledged, "But," she stared at Tara, "Its' better than the alternative."

Tara silently agreed with the assessment, but she didn't have to like it. She sighed deeply, "This isn't much of a pep talk," Tara muttered as she slowly placed her head back on her knees.

"No, it wasn't..."

Tara tensed slightly when she felt Carol's hand on her shoulder and could not stop the shiver she experienced when Carol whispered in her ear.

"I may not be the best person to talk to, but if you need to hash things out, come find me."

With those final words said, Carol stood up and walked away.

"I'll think about it," Tara replied softly as she watched Carol make her way towards Michonne, holding her arms out for Judith who smiled.


End file.
